Jokes Thread!
- S2000_Skyline12
- Unbeatable
- Posts: 3538
- Joined: 05 Jan 2005, 23:59
- Location: Long Island, New York Birthday:12.23.92
copy this and paste it in notepad then remove all the x's (if you get it no offense, its just a joke)
ixfxxyxoxuxxtxoxoxkxxtxhxexxtxixmxexxtxoxdxexcxoxdxexxtxhxixsxxmxexsxsxaxgxexxyxoxuxxhxaxvxexxwxaxsxtxexdxxvxaxlxuxexbxlxexxtxixmxexxfxixnxdxixnxgxxoxuxtxxyxoxuxrxexxaxnxxaxsxs
ixfxxyxoxuxxtxoxoxkxxtxhxexxtxixmxexxtxoxdxexcxoxdxexxtxhxixsxxmxexsxsxaxgxexxyxoxuxxhxaxvxexxwxaxsxtxexdxxvxaxlxuxexbxlxexxtxixmxexxfxixnxdxixnxgxxoxuxtxxyxoxuxrxexxaxnxxaxsxs
Last edited by S2000_Skyline12 on 25 Aug 2005, 19:16, edited 1 time in total.
*sig removed for being too big. max size 550x120px & 50kb*
-
- Turbo Charged
- Posts: 94
- Joined: 30 Jun 2004, 01:00
That's pretty cool, but I didn't waste all that much time. I used the replace feature with notepad and replaced the xs with -.S2000_Skyline12 wrote:copy this and paste it in notepad then remove all the x's (if you get it no offense, its just a joke)
xixfxxyxoxuxxtxoxoxkxxtxhxexxtxixmxexxtxoxdxexcxoxdxexxtxhxixsxxmxexsxsxaxgxexxyxoxuxxhxaxvxexxwxaxsxtxexdxxvxaxlxuxexbxlxexxtxixmxexxfxixnxdxixnxgxxoxuxtxxyxoxuxrxexxaxnxxaxsxs
Oh, and your also missing an i at the beginning.
-
- Turbo Charged
- Posts: 94
- Joined: 30 Jun 2004, 01:00
- S2000_Skyline12
- Unbeatable
- Posts: 3538
- Joined: 05 Jan 2005, 23:59
- Location: Long Island, New York Birthday:12.23.92
-
- Turbo Charged
- Posts: 94
- Joined: 30 Jun 2004, 01:00
Um, I said, something like that. I didn't copy it out word for word. Here it is, it took about 7 seconds.S2000_Skyline12 wrote:nope
-f--y-o-u--t-o-o-k--t-h-e--t-i-m-e--t-o-d-e-c-o-d-e--t-h-i-s--m-e-s-s-a-g-e--y-o-u--h-a-v-e--w-a-s-t-e-d--v-a-l-u-e-b-l-e--t-i-m-e--f-i-n-d-i-n-g--o-u-t--y-o-u-r-e--a-n--a-s-s
Note the missing i.
- boganbusman
- Unbeatable
- Posts: 5142
- Joined: 03 Sep 2004, 12:09
- Location: Mute City
- Contact:
If you dont get it you wont understand death. Even if your told it wont work.
These are of some sie.
Did you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. Why the death? So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil........ Just when the clock struck 11.... Scroll down for what happened... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
A Blonde goes to a barber and asks for a haircut. The barber asks her to take off her headphones, and she says she needs them and can't take them off. As he starts to cut her hair, she falls asleep in the chair. The barber can't cut her hair correctly with the earphones on, so he removes them, and after 30 seconds she drops dead. Startled by what’s happened, he picks up the earphones to listen what it was and they said: "Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out..."
A bear walks into a bar and says “I want a bourbon and....a cokeâ€, the bartender asks “what’s with the huge pause?†The bear say “I’ve had them all my life.â€
These are of some sie.
Did you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. Why the death? So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil........ Just when the clock struck 11.... Scroll down for what happened... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
A Blonde goes to a barber and asks for a haircut. The barber asks her to take off her headphones, and she says she needs them and can't take them off. As he starts to cut her hair, she falls asleep in the chair. The barber can't cut her hair correctly with the earphones on, so he removes them, and after 30 seconds she drops dead. Startled by what’s happened, he picks up the earphones to listen what it was and they said: "Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out..."
A bear walks into a bar and says “I want a bourbon and....a cokeâ€, the bartender asks “what’s with the huge pause?†The bear say “I’ve had them all my life.â€
- boganbusman
- Unbeatable
- Posts: 5142
- Joined: 03 Sep 2004, 12:09
- Location: Mute City
- Contact:
JOKE!
A little boy gets into the bus and strarts singing:
" If my dad was a big bird, and my mom was a big bird, then I would be a little bird"
Then he sings again:
" If my dad was a big elaphant, and my mom was a big elaphant, then I would be a little elaphant"
Then the bus drives says"
" what if your dad was an alcoholic, and your mom was a prostitute?"
They little boy says:
" Then I would be a bus driver"
A little boy gets into the bus and strarts singing:
" If my dad was a big bird, and my mom was a big bird, then I would be a little bird"
Then he sings again:
" If my dad was a big elaphant, and my mom was a big elaphant, then I would be a little elaphant"
Then the bus drives says"
" what if your dad was an alcoholic, and your mom was a prostitute?"
They little boy says:
" Then I would be a bus driver"
-
- Turbo Charged
- Posts: 94
- Joined: 30 Jun 2004, 01:00
That's pretty good. I've heard a variation but this was still funny.Focer wrote: JOKE!
A little boy gets into the bus and strarts singing:
" If my dad was a big bird, and my mom was a big bird, then I would be a little bird"
Then he sings again:
" If my dad was a big elaphant, and my mom was a big elaphant, then I would be a little elaphant"
Then the bus drives says"
" what if your dad was an alcoholic, and your mom was a prostitute?"
They little boy says:
" Then I would be a bus driver"
- boganbusman
- Unbeatable
- Posts: 5142
- Joined: 03 Sep 2004, 12:09
- Location: Mute City
- Contact:
*dig dig dig*
This is a test. The test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which
You will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
THE SITUATION
You are in New Orleans to be specific.
There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.
You are photo journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're
caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
THE TEST
Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life,
trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.
It's the President, George W. Bush.
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take
him under forever.
You have two options - you can save the life of the President, or you
Can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the
death of one of the world's most famous men.
THE QUESTION
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer ...
Would you select high contrast colour film?, or would you go
with the classic simplicity of black and white?
This is a test. The test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which
You will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
THE SITUATION
You are in New Orleans to be specific.
There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.
You are photo journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're
caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
THE TEST
Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life,
trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.
It's the President, George W. Bush.
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take
him under forever.
You have two options - you can save the life of the President, or you
Can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the
death of one of the world's most famous men.
THE QUESTION
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer ...
Would you select high contrast colour film?, or would you go
with the classic simplicity of black and white?
- boganbusman
- Unbeatable
- Posts: 5142
- Joined: 03 Sep 2004, 12:09
- Location: Mute City
- Contact:
Here is some school work done by six-year olds. Their task was to complete these well known proverbs:
Strike while the ....................................insect is close.
Never underestimate the power of............ants.
Don't bite the hand that.........................looks dirty.
Better to be safe than...........................punch a grade 7 boy.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll...............stink in the morning.
It's always darkest before.......................DaylightSaving Time.
You can lead a horse to water but............how?
No news is............................................impo ssible.
A miss is as good as a.............................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new................maths.
Love all, trust........................................me.
The pen is mightier than the.....................pigs.
An idle mind is........................................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's.....................pollution.
Happy the bride who...............................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is....................................not much.
Two's company, three's...........................the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what................you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and..........you have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as......................Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not...............smacked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed....................get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you......see in the picture on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind..............get out of the way.
Better late than............................pregnant!
LOL!
Strike while the ....................................insect is close.
Never underestimate the power of............ants.
Don't bite the hand that.........................looks dirty.
Better to be safe than...........................punch a grade 7 boy.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll...............stink in the morning.
It's always darkest before.......................DaylightSaving Time.
You can lead a horse to water but............how?
No news is............................................impo ssible.
A miss is as good as a.............................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new................maths.
Love all, trust........................................me.
The pen is mightier than the.....................pigs.
An idle mind is........................................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's.....................pollution.
Happy the bride who...............................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is....................................not much.
Two's company, three's...........................the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what................you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and..........you have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as......................Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not...............smacked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed....................get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you......see in the picture on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind..............get out of the way.
Better late than............................pregnant!
LOL!
-
- Turbo Charged
- Posts: 94
- Joined: 30 Jun 2004, 01:00
That really isn't funny. Six-years are not smart enough to know what half that stuff is. Day-light savings time? Stevie Wonder? Blindeth and leadeth? Better late than pregnant? Idle? Even if it was say 12 year olds, it's still not funny. Sorry, but it's the truth.boganbusman wrote:Here is some school work done by six-year olds. Their task was to complete these well known proverbs:
Strike while the ....................................insect is close.
Never underestimate the power of............ants.
Don't bite the hand that.........................looks dirty.
Better to be safe than...........................punch a grade 7 boy.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll...............stink in the morning.
It's always darkest before.......................DaylightSaving Time.
You can lead a horse to water but............how?
No news is............................................impo ssible.
A miss is as good as a.............................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new................maths.
Love all, trust........................................me.
The pen is mightier than the.....................pigs.
An idle mind is........................................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's.....................pollution.
Happy the bride who...............................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is....................................not much.
Two's company, three's...........................the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what................you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and..........you have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as......................Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not...............smacked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed....................get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you......see in the picture on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind..............get out of the way.
Better late than............................pregnant!
LOL!
- boganbusman
- Unbeatable
- Posts: 5142
- Joined: 03 Sep 2004, 12:09
- Location: Mute City
- Contact:
-
- Turbo Charged
- Posts: 94
- Joined: 30 Jun 2004, 01:00