Jokes Thread!

Andre_online · Post by **Andre_online** » 08 Dec 2005, 06:49

Close, but that's not it. Nice try by the way...

jhwee · Post by **jhwee** » 08 Dec 2005, 19:31

Everywhere? ;o

Speaking of black people:

What do you call a black person driving a plane?

Post by **Pabl0z** » 08 Dec 2005, 19:59

Andre: How about a running competition?

Andre_online · Post by **Andre_online** » 08 Dec 2005, 20:08

I'd love to, but how? Besides, the question is not that hard... I'll let you all guess for now. I'll give the answer within 12 hours.

Post by **Pabl0z** » 08 Dec 2005, 20:34

But i've heard that joke before and the answer that time was a running competition

.
Because you know that the black guys always win so they're chased by a bunch of white guys

.

Andre_online · Post by **Andre_online** » 08 Dec 2005, 20:46

Read my joke again. A black man, it's singular.

Dizzi · Post by **Dizzi** » 08 Dec 2005, 21:18

dunno. is this joke gonna b racist?

Post by **Pabl0z** » 08 Dec 2005, 22:14

Andre yes i read it and it still doesn't remove the fact that i've heard the same exact joke and i told you the answer already that i heard.
Why does it matter if there's one guy or 5 guys?

Let's say there's a race and there are 3 guys that are black and 5 guys that are white.
Obviously there's at least one black guy in the lead and probably the two other black guys are right behind him.
The white guys are still chasing the guy in the lead.
Like in a dog race the dogs are all chasing the mechanical rabbit and not the other dogs in front of them.

Fishwhiz · Post by **Fishwhiz** » 08 Dec 2005, 22:34

i have a joke, no offense to any black person. you didnt here it from me, someone told it to me.
why are black men so good at baseball?
cause they can hit, run, and steal!

heres a stupid one-
there was once this guy who lost a few ping pong balls. he sent three people looking for them.
the first guy comes back and says- i found one ping pong ball!
the second guy comes and says- i found 2 ping pong balls!
the owner of the balls says- well, i got rid of the last guy!
but the third guy comes back in bad shape, all bloodied up, holding 2 big red hairy things.
the owner says- Tjose arent ping pong balls!
third guy- oh, well king kong isnt a male anymore, cause i thought you said kingkong balls!

Jopuma · Post by **Jopuma** » 08 Dec 2005, 23:16

Ew. That's kinda gross

Anyway here is a joke that isn't all that funny and doesn't make sense, but for some reason it is funny.

What has three legs and climbs palm trees?

Give up?

Now?

You sure?

Ok then.

A kid with an erection.

See what I told you. It's dumb.

Pigbenis · Post by **Pigbenis** » 09 Dec 2005, 00:04

Jopuma wrote: Anyway here is a joke that isn't all that funny and doesn't make sense, but for some reason it is funny.

Uhm.. that doesn't make sense either?

Jopuma · Post by **Jopuma** » 09 Dec 2005, 03:19

I know. I'm weird that way.

Andre_online · Post by **Andre_online** » 09 Dec 2005, 13:34

Dizzi wrote:dunno. is this joke gonna b racist?

No, LOL!!! Nothing to do with racism. Anyways, here's the answer: The PGA tour. Why? Tiger Woods.

Post by **Pabl0z** » 09 Dec 2005, 14:30

Andre after your answer to the joke there was no point in trying to be smart with me before.
There are other black players in golf too....

Andre_online · Post by **Andre_online** » 09 Dec 2005, 17:16

Well the most well known one is definitely Tiger Woods.

I mean, OK, you're right. There's also Vijay Singh. But when you go around the streets asking whether which name the could recognize most, I betcha they'll say Tiger Woods.

Jopuma · Post by **Jopuma** » 09 Dec 2005, 17:34

Yeah. As far as I know he's the most famous black golf player. He's pretty good at it too.

Did you hear of the kid with the first hole in one at the age of 5?

jacoja06 · Post by **jacoja06** » 14 Dec 2005, 05:20

Shoes Anyone?

The Blonde and the new shoes

A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!" The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!" The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, fires, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out. "Oh NO!... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"

xHaZxMaTx · Post by **xHaZxMaTx** » 14 Dec 2005, 05:35

Didn't see that one coming.

Sir Ibi · Post by **Sir Ibi** » 07 Jan 2006, 02:48

So what's up with airline meals?

xHaZxMaTx · Post by **xHaZxMaTx** » 07 Jan 2006, 04:58

That's pretty sad, I actually laughed at that.

Sir Ibi · Post by **Sir Ibi** » 07 Jan 2006, 06:57

are you kidding me... These jokes are GOLD!!

Fadeproof · Post by **Fadeproof** » 07 Jan 2006, 06:58

i didnt laugh at the joke, but when i read what xHaZxMaTx said thats when i laughed.

Sir Ibi · Post by **Sir Ibi** » 07 Jan 2006, 08:07

That joke ain't funny to you guys???

When i first heard that joke I laughed so hard, I shiznit myself...

NFSBLUECIVIC · Post by **NFSBLUECIVIC** » 07 Jan 2006, 08:17

i as well.
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."

donaldgladden · Post by **donaldgladden** » 07 Jan 2006, 08:24

enough Blonde jokes. the're being overused. try Momma jokes or something not a Blonde's bad day out.